The Church Girl Cometh


I think that this series is valuable for many reasons. Of course, if you married a single mother who turned out to be decent, and you’re happy, it’s all good… but if that’s the case, you are the exception that proves the rule. 

Down below, our brother Anonymous from the Big Apple shares his story dating — and almost marrying — a single mom of another sort. It definitely merits a place on the front page. Let’s hear him tell it…

When I was wrapping up undergrad, I got entangled with 28 year old gold digger I met through the singles group at church… she initially got me with alot of one-on-one attention (i used to flirt alot back then, but never had a girlfriend) and things just escalated on their own.

She got to me with blowjobs, titty fucks, hand jobs… pretty much everything except full penis in vagina sex. In our hypocrisy, that was a line we did not want to cross given that we met at church and were going to enormous lengths to rationalize all the lines that we were crossing.

Anyway, the BJs had me hooked, and there were all sorts of red flags such as gas lighting and shit tests. I didn’t even know what to call them, but I knew that it was all shitty.

When I was on the verge of letting her go, about 6 months in (the BJs were good, but didnt justify the shit tests), she dumped on me that she had an abortion, and felt worthless, and couldnt lose a prize catch like me, and she would stop the shit tests etc etc etc. I should’ve cut ties right then and there… but i was a naive early 20 something, and she was clearly an experienced capital H, HO. Fast forward 2 years later, and the shit tests havent stopped, she’s made me become estranged from my family… she is a full out flirt with any cute, cut up masculine man that stops by church, and i am committed to be married to her (i was very beta, and was shit-tested into putting a ring on it).

Dont fear, my friends, there is a happy ending to this tale. I finally grew a pair and cut her off the morning of the wedding. YES – i am that guy who hit the lottery by walking away and avoiding a lifetime of ruin.

NEXTING a Ho can be expensive the longer you wait. So the lesson for the young guys is to cut bait quick. Since i waited until the BIG WEDDING DAY, i ended up having to write checks for all the vendors that had already been booked… it was a super cheap wedding, by NYC standards, but i still ended up writing checks for close to $9k…. in retrospect, cutting it at the 6 month mark like i wanted to would have been way cheaper. but 9k is a small price to pay to avoid getting divorce raped a few years later anyway…

Had to wait a while, but eventually found a normal (not claiming she’s a nawalt) woman and she is a faithful stay at home / home-schooling mom to the children she bore me.

What a story! Respect to this brother and the cool female he ended up marrying. 

Do you have a story about falling into a single mom’s fishtrap? Tell all in the comments, or submit an effortpoast by email.

The Redhead Contingency


Brother Charlie says ‘no’ to the ho’

Down below, I asked for personal submissions related to dating single mothers. A couple of you were good enough to comply.

The first man to volunteer was Earl, who breaks it down immediately, after I asked him about some crazy bitch he met. 

I met her through work. She was certainly still attractive looking (red heads are the death of me) and we had similar sense of humor so that was probably the attraction.

This sounds like she was older than you? Is that right? 


I knew she had three kids…but then eventually I started to find out they were from two different fathers and even one of the fathers I found out I was distantly related to.

How far into the courtship was it revealed that the two kids had different fathers?

A few months, though I wouldn’t call it a courtship.

For Mormons, the whole distant relatives thing isn’t that big a deal. We’re all descended from the same group of people, though we generally don’t marry immediate first or second cousins.

We would often go to similar parties where alcohol was available. She would often go full party mode when the father had the kids for the weekend. She also had flings with a few guys (at least the ones I was aware of).

Back then I was in a crazy time in my life, so I didn’t see the red flags as clearly as now…but I hung out with her. Basically, the end of it came during a drunken make out session. She told me she was ‘raped’ at 15. In that alcoholic stupor, I finally got clarity. It was then that I regreted ever getting involved. I think she sensed that, and we mutually broke whatever was going on with us. I remember to this day I said out loud… “I never felt so relieved.”

Did she get revenge on you for nexting her? Was there any drama? Did she become tearful and beg to get back into your inner circle? Did she immediately start banging your best friends, or otherwise attempt to stay within your field of vision?

No revenge, not any drama that I can think of, no back stabbery. If it helps we never engaged in sex either…which I think is a good fire extinguisher to potential drama.

What I didn’t do was ever spend a lot of money on her…meet her kids…or become her full time simp. So I did save face there.

Of course during this time too I met another red head at a party (this one single, no kids) and agreed to what I thought was a date with her. This date consisted of going to a party where I met a group of her ‘friends’ and it turned out one of the guys was her ‘make out session’ guy or something. So I made the mistake of riding to the party in her vehicle because she knew where it was at…her and this other guy disappear for like 4 hours and I’m just here at this party not knowing anybody hoping that I’m not spending the night there. Fortunately she did eventually return (after doing God knows what) and took me back to my vehicle. I don’t think I spoke one word to her because I just wanted to get back to my car. I think that was the last red head I’ve been involved with.

It’s funny. I’ve meant to talk about this phenomenon. I’ve had a couple of experiences where some slut invites me out to a public or semi-private event, and the minute we get there, I realize she’s brought me simply as a cover, or to make her intended target jealous, or for some other underhanded reason. 

Tom Leykis used to warn men not to go to concerts if their date mentioned being “on the guest list,” or having “a backstage pass,” because that implies she’ll be fucking the band, while you’re finding your own way home. It’s basically the same scenario.

And since then if I do a date…I make all the plans and I drive myself to it. I don’t give ladies that quick of trust anymore.

So yeah when ladies want to whine about real things that happen to guys and trying to warn their fellow brothers…understand a lot of this doesn’t just come out of a vacuum.

Long story short…even if she’s attractive to you, single mothers are corrosive.

Thanks to Earl for kicking off this discussion. If you have a story, please contact me. I think these stories can be beneficial for the young brothers coming up, and I won’t include any personal details about anyone.

Alex Carlton on Single Mothers

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For some reason, I found myself reading an opinion piece in Australia’s public media this morning. The author is one Alex Carlton. Here’s what she looks like…


hot? or not?

Mizz Carlton would like all the boys to know that she “has no time for criticism of single mums,” and she’s here specifically to take a man named Richard Cooper to task. Cooper had the audacity to produce a youtube video about some dysfunctional traits that one will find when he dates a single mom.

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A few points:

  1. Children are expensive. When you date a wimminz who has little kids, you will not only be paying more money, but you’ll also be expected to part with more of your time. You can work smarter to make up for the first, but the amount of moments in your life is finite, and there’s no way to turn back the hour-hand in your life.
  2. Wimminz will put their kids before you. This is totally understandable, as one’s family ought to be more important than whatever person you are fucking.

Why this stupid wimminz is disputing these simple facts, I really don’t know. Neither of them seems controversial.

Mizz Carlton includes lots of screenshots of Richard Cooper’s video in her article, as she tries to paint him in the worst possible light. I found Cooper’s video in less than a minute, and thought I’d put a link up here. It’s actually quite sensible and evenhanded. I encourage all men to listen and learn.

I’m somewhat surprised to report that I take Mizz Carlton’s side on one specific point. A man doesn’t necessarily have a zero ROI on a child he takes in. There are men we all know who have married single mothers, and other men we all know who have adopted children. These may be worthwhile pursuits for a man. All Cooper’s broad strokes aside, the general theme of his message is accurate. It is almost always easier to breed up your own kids the old-fashioned way.

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Bitch has now moved into criticizing the men who are commenting on Cooper’s video. How dare these filthy men think for themselves, she asks… and further, how dare they share their lived experiences among themselves without wimminz to moderate?

Because YouTube is owned by Google, I expect the video and all its comments to disappear at some point. I went and gathered a couple of realtalk comments of my own. Let’s see what the brothers have to say…

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Sounds like Anthony had a really great time running with his ho’.

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Mono Lith doesn’t go into too much detail, but the experience of dating skank-ho single moms seems to have made an impression on him as well.

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Kruno 45 paints a pretty bleak picture of dating skank-ho single moms.

I can hear many wimminz and simps now. What they’ll inevitably bring up are experiences like Derek’s adoptions, or Scott’s successful marriage. It’s certainly true that not every experience with single mothers or fatherless kids is a disaster, but the statistics are fairly brutal, and no educated man makes an important decision without examining common channels that lead to calamity.

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Like the typical skank-ho single mom, Mizz Carlton just has to throw in selfies with her embarrassing autoencomium. I find it pretty difficult to believe that this slag was entirely self-sufficient, but even if she were, so what? That would only make her an outlier.

Single mothers aren’t “warriors,” they’re a cancer on society, and probably the greatest disaster that any society has ever faced. They may well be the end of western civilization in the next few generations, in fact.

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I guess Richard Cooper isn’t going to get a chance to nail Alex or any of her skank-ho single mom friends. I’m sure he’s all broken up about it.

Have you gentlemen ever dated a single mother? How did it go? Sound if you have a minute; and, remember to say ‘no’ to the ho’, and refuse to date a single mom.