Robert de Niro, with skank-ho wife Grace Hightower
When I was a kid, I was taught that I would someday find a wonderful girl to marry. This girl would keep house for me, raise my children, be faithful in every way, and would eventually accompany me to the celestial kingdom, where we would spend eternity together, progressing ever closer to perfection.
At Christmas time in 2018, Grace Hightower split from her husband, Robert de Niro. For those who don’t know, de Niro is an A-List star of the international cinema. He has worked in the movies for many years, and has fostered close relationships with heavy hitters like Martin Scorsese and Brian de Palma. He has starred in Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Goodfellas, The Last Temptation of Christ, Cape Fear, and The Irishman. His impressive cv and his dedication to his craft identify him as a man who has worked very hard, for the entirety of his life, to achieve success in the real world.
de Niro met Hightower when she was a busgirl at a midscale Chinese restaurant in London. They married less than a year later, in 1997. Before landing a multimillionaire movie star, Hightower lived in poverty, and had made a career out of working odd jobs (source.) Once wed, de Niro’s influence landed Hightower a bit part in a feature film, but Hightower wasn’t used to hard work, and didn’t like it, so she instead convinced her husband to start a high-budget charity, and install her on the board. Since then, she has told people that she is a “philanthropist” and that her employer is “The Grace Hightower Foundation.” Supposedly, the charity encourages fair-trade import of agricultural products from Africa. As a strong and empowered feminist wimminz, Hightower refused to take the de Niro surname; but, she had no problem spending the de Niro fortune.
I’m sure it was just a coincidence that Hightower decided she was going to separate from her husband immediately after their twentieth wedding anniversary. Thanks to this incredible timing, their marriage was legally considered “long term.” As such, de Niro was immediately ordered to give his skank-ho wife vehicles, homes, generous child support for their two kids, and over one million dollars a year in “spending money” for “incidentals” (source.)
Comes 2020, with its SARS outbreak, civil unrest, and economic collapse. de Niro appealed to his ex-wife for a bit of grace. Did she give it to him? Of course not. She immediately went down to the anti-family courts, and here’s what she asked for:
Aside from the usual ghastly spectacle that such a wimminz naturally provides us, I find shit like this to be a very good illustration of the differences between men and women. Flash back a couple of decades, and we can try to reconstruct what was likely going on between the ears of these two chuckleheads, at the time the notion of marriage erupted.
Hey, thought de Niro, this bitch is pretty nice. She’s a great fuck and she knows how to make Beijing beef. It’s true she is a lazy skank-ho slut; but, I am sure the bitch will be suitably grateful for the amazing opportunity to be my wife, and she will express her gratitude by becoming a serious female, faithful and devoted to the wonderful life we will build together.
Jesus Christ, thought Hightower, if this guy is actually stooping to marry a shiftless cleanup girl and skank-ho slut like me, he must really be a loser with no other options. I can’t afford not to say ‘yes’ to this, but I will resent him for being such a loser, and I will resent myself for settling for such a desperate nobody, and I will make him regret being such a low-quality man for every day of our miserable marriage, until such time that the law allows me the maximum divorce payout.
Take a look at this unhappy couple, as they were photographed in the fall of 2017. While I’m sure she was attractive at some point, years of hard living and botched plastic surgery make Hightower completely unfuckable. Look at the hideous scowl on her face. Now shift your eyes left, and look at the tired, worn, haggard countenance of the unlucky man who stooped to marrying her, all those years ago.
How fortunate I was to see the truth, before this was my fate.