Earlier this week, I found (and listened to) an audio file on YouTube, purporting to be a recorded conversation between world famous actor and ALPHA MALE GAME superstar Johnny Depp, and his total nobody of a skank-ho wife, Amber Heard.
Depp made the mistake of marrying this wimminz in April of 2015. Almost immediately, she started making his life Hell. Heard filed for divorce in May of 2016, after accusing her husband of being a serial wife-beater, a rapist, and a sexist misogynist pig who reads v5k2c2. She subsequently gained the only bit of fame she has ever managed to garner, by plastering herself all over social media and public service announcements as the poor victim of this maniac’s brutality.
In the audio file I heard, Depp can clearly be heard telling his bitch wife that they need to quit squabbling, and warning her that if she begins throwing shit and acting like a toddler, he is going to leave the house. Bitch wife laughs at Depp, alternating between telling him that she will continue to beat his ass whenever she wants, and warning him not to leave her alone. She also admits that she was the aggressor in their fights.
I didn’t have a lot of time when I heard the audio (this was on Monday, if I recall correctly) and by the time I was ready to post it here, YouTube (being YouTube) had removed it for being offensive to feminists.
Fast forward to today, when I noticed that there’s yet another bit of entertainment up on the web (thanks to Jim Goad on Twitter.)
Skank-ho Amber can be heard in this audio file laughing, admitting that she starts the fights she complains about, and pointing out (correctly) that the authorities operate under the “duluth protocols,” and as such, Johnny will never be taken seriously if he tells the truth about her abuse.
I’m busy this week, but let’s quickly go over some lessons that our man Johnny has taught us.
- If there is even a hint of future conflict with a rebellious skank, always record your interactions with the bitch. I don’t know what Depp is using, but an iPod Touch acts as a very good recording device that’s totally unobtrusive.
- Never simply “give in” or “plead guilty” to a bitch’s made-up allegations. Some men describe even their own lawyers encouraging them to do “be the bigger man” and “take one for the team.” This is stupid. Take the fight to her, and make her regret ever fucking with you.
- A wimminz will gleefully dismantle her own house with her own two hands. (I stole this line from the bible, but don’t know where it is.) Amber Heard has never acted in any film that wasn’t a F-list piece of shit, and she isn’t particularly attractive, either. She managed to get Johnny Depp to marry her, and rather than riding this lottery ticket into retirement, she’s ruining herself and everyone around her for attention.
- If Johnny Depp can’t keep a third-rate skank actress and total loser happy, then what chance do I have at marriage? The answer, of course, is none. Thus, I’m happy to play the eternal bachelor and let better men than I shuffle through the divorce courts.
That’s it for this episode of Hollywood Clownworld. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Tune in to find out…