49 And Very Successful…

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When boredom strikes, I typically open one of the British tabloids, where I’m sure to find some dirty, lying feminist jacking her jaws. So it was this morning, when I found some sage advice in the “Ask Mariella” column over at the grauniad.

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Let’s read along and see what truths Mizz Frostrup can teach us, shall we?

I’m a 49-year-old woman. I work hard, own a home and live a fairly good life. My problem is that I can’t help but feel regretful that I never had children. I can’t quite believe this is how my life turned out. When I was younger I ached for my own child.

As dumb as this bitch has been, we can all be grateful she didn’t go the single mom route, and raise up some lawless hoez and thugs, who would right now be terrorizing law-abiding citizens.

I have a partner currently.

Which translates to: “I’m presently fucking a series of men, all of whom refuse to marry me.”

We don’t live together, he’s younger than I am and quite possibly the loveliest man I’ve been in a relationship with. It’s too late for me to conceive now and IVF isn’t an option as we don’t have the money. He says he doesn’t care, but he dotes on friends’ children and I fear that when he’s older he’ll feel regretful, too.

In previous relationships I’ve had two abortions and two miscarriages and I’m not sure I ever recovered emotionally. I somehow got my life back on track, though I suffered another miscarriage along the way. Those losses left me feeling numb and I pretend to others who ask that I made positive choices. I feel ashamed, guilty and cowardly.

As you should.

I want to know how to get through these next few years unscathed. I’m too serious, anxious about money, the environment, everything. I suppose I am a typical spinster cat-woman. I fear the emotional wrecking ball of the menopause and want to move on and to not think about what could have been – but it’s getting worse, not better.

Sisters take note: this could be you. You’ll never be more attractive than you are right now. Laser off the skank-ho tatts, Quit fucking random men, and start presenting yourself as a serious, marriage minded girl. Once you score your husband, don’t divorce him.

Now here’s Mariella’s response:

Don’t panic! It sounds like you are living through a full-blown midlife crisis. No one wants to think they are just a number, but sometimes it’s easier to navigate life’s difficulties when you know you’ve got company – and companions with similar concerns are one thing you won’t be short of as you hit 50, brimful of anxiety, regrets and melancholy. There’s no shame in seeking help and the best place to start is with your local GP, provided they have menopause experience, so they can sort hormonal bedlam from mental wear and tear.

You’ve reached the first age of reckoning and you’d be one in a million if there weren’t plenty of choices you’d love to rethink with the benefit of hindsight. I’m afraid that has to stop. There is no gain and a lot to lose in looking over your shoulder instead of keeping your gaze firmly forward-facing. The past is a place to mine for happy memories, not dwell on for those that are less so. It’s easier said than done, but it’s definitely possible. Dwelling on the many things I could have done better, some major, some minor, would definitely flatten me.

I’ve front-loaded on the negativity because, quite honestly, the future is far brighter than you envisage. I understand your regrets about not having children and agree the likelihood of getting pregnant now is extremely slim. You can sit around and mourn or consider the surfeit of opportunities offered by not being responsible for anyone but yourself. Whether it’s relocation or re-education, your bucket list is far more achievable than if you were a parent saddled with the cost of an umbilical connection you can’t shake off.

A close friend, like you, wanted children, but didn’t have them. Quite honestly, it’s her unfettered lifestyle I envy most when my teenagers make Harry Enfield’s best caricature of adolescent angst seem normal! Instead of rueing your misfortune, write a list of all the amazing things you can do now you’re mature and solvent, grab your younger man and start ticking them off.

What’s predictably human is that despite the much longer list of achievements you have to celebrate – a good job, trophy boyfriend, decent lifestyle, own home – you’ve zoomed in on the one ambition you have not succeeded with. They are not minor details to be shunted aside, but amount to the very things that most kids hope one day to achieve.

Mariella! You brainless cunt! Healthy women don’t want a “trophy boyfriend” at forty-nine freakin’ years old.

If, despite all my encouragement to count your blessings, you still feel your life requires a child, then there are around 6,000 children a year desperate for a secure home, and nearly 50% of them are school-age siblings, which means in adopting them you’d have a ready-made family. Bearing your own biological baby may be a natural impulse, but the enormous gift you can give a child who needs parenting is well worth considering, and not as a second choice. It sounds to me like you tick all the boxes for an acceptable adoption prospect so a life with children to rear and rage at you is in reach (contact gov.uk/child-adoption).

Whatever you choose, the life lesson remains the same. From now on it’s imperative to be grateful for what you’ve got, not preoccupied by what you haven’t. And finally, the menopause… well that’s a whole other conversation, but a good place to begin is on BBC iPlayer with my documentary The Truth About the Menopause. Reaching midlife is a time for contemplation, but also for positive action. With half your life left to live there are options aplenty and inspiring ways to move forward. You just need to review your perspective.

Far too long, empty headed, and useless, the feminist pretends to advise others, even as she makes excuses for her own wasted life.

Author: Boxer

Sinister All-Male Dancer. Secret King of all Gamma Males. Member of Frankfurt School. Your Fave Contrarian!

8 thoughts on “49 And Very Successful…”

  1. Eh…”Daily Mail” reader here and “The Manchester Evening News” always has me rolling on the floor in laughter.

    The British press can slash a person to ribbons a few sentences while sounding intelligent and at the same time choosing the best and most appropriate picture to fit the situation…….

    “Shock On The Picadilly Tram, Man snorting Drugs in Plain View!” “Bustier the Better!” “Yank In Camdem Towne On Holiday Livens Up Boring Pub” (that was me!) “Welsh Fire Sale Starts Early By Torching Homes Owned By English”

    The stories are just filled with “shock” and “appalling” and “horrid” behaviors.

    The British, like us here are a lonely people. Loneliness is evidently an epidemic in the UK and stories like this in the press…….dare I say can be helpful to readers (The Brits do read papers more than their American cousins) because seeing a story like this is relateable to many GenX women in the UK.

    Look this woman cannot change her past….and her hopes and dreams of having children (that ship has sailed. deal with it) but she should focus on the rest of her life…….and yes, for one stop comparing yourself to other people. Our culture demands we always have to be one-upping someone instead of focusing what we have. Life moves fast, and this woman is not alone in making some terrible choices back in the 1990’s. Most people just have to deal, accept, move on and actually learn from their past. Most don’t. Most won’t. Most cannot. She should be happy she has a pretty good boyfriend (according to her).

    This woman will be fine. Yes, she should get a cat they don’t care what you look like and if you just keep their litter pan clean, feed them appropriately and talk to it…..they make great pals.

    Plenty of women like her, and in her situation don’t have it half as good and wouldn’t even have a chance of landing a call on “dialing for dollars”

    The pretty-sad girl thing doesn’t work at age 35 for 99% of women. This woman is still there. She needs to get over it. Hopefully she will…….or we may see a more gruesome British tabloid headline. We have enough of those!

  2. “Laser off the skank-ho tatts, Quit fucking random men, and start presenting yourself as a serious, marriage minded girl. Once you score your husband, don’t divorce him.”

    Exactly this.

    Roughly speaking, the manosphere exists to help men who are destroyed by women or want to avoid that fate. The advice and analysis given is complex and difficult. There is no easy answer. By contrast, the advice that a woman needs to follow for a successful marriage is extremely simple. This advice you give the sisters is not oversimplified.

    Why is my marriage successful? No tattoos, no extra-marital sex, marriage (and family) minded, and no divorce.

  3. I’m afraid Mariella’s feminist pep talk loses it’s savor at 49, and is insufficient to assuage the resultant guilt and shame. Nevertheless, it’s good for women to be telling others how the feminist end game plays out, so that younger women will know and hopefully not make the same mistakes.

    Boxer sez: You don’t belong here, Jack. The internet is a big place, and I wish you well on your own blog. Please don’t reapply.

  4. “the manosphere exists to help men who are destroyed by women or want to avoid that fate.”

    Lots of different shades of the sphere. Helping men destroyed by women? Where is the help? In church men are told it was their own fault…..AND…….christianity is suffering. In mens groups / accountability, they are told it was their own fault. The most help they in general get is calling women four letter words and maybe rebound date / hookup with some woman like in the above tabloid article. They’ll slap him on the back “Atta boy…..see, they’re all useless!”

    The darker MGTOW side of the sphere will make the man want to put a bullet in his head, or jump off a bridge. The “game” side of things will make him into a useless AA type of drone with steps, acronyms, confusing definitions and have him look foolish…..when a man is beaten down by church, courts, garnishments……..he’ll come back through this faux masculinity and tell you he’s “everything”

    The man-o-sphere exists because there is no god damned place for men to just hang out and be men. Be themselves. Barbershops are the last front of this….and that is even changing (been getting my hair barbered every two weeks for thirty years….it has changed a lot). If a man needs help? He would do better to just actually be a man: make a list of what sucks in his life and fix it, understanding it may indeed take the rest of his life…..but a band of brothers?

    Get real. The man-o-sphere in its current state offers nothing of this, and we shouldn’t expect anything from fellow men in the sphere, they could care less about you

  5. “the advice that a woman needs to follow for a successful marriage is extremely simple”

    A good marriage takes work. Tons of it. I saw it firsthand growing up. It’s not simple.

  6. In previous relationships I’ve had two abortions
    She has kids she just chose not give birth to them….

  7. Gotta live with your choices Renee. I understand her situation…..and stories like this always make for good hairsplitting and reading I guess……but in the end……front pew christian or not……..you have to live with your past choices, and the results of them. She should be grateful she has a boyfriend who is younger and evidently is amazing. She should be happy she is English and has that lovely accent. She should be grateful that she didn’t have any health complications from those abortions. She should be happy she lives in a relatively fear free society. She should be happy that she did get to be a young woman in the 1990’s. She has permission to lament and reflect on the “what if’s” and “should have done” questions. She has to accept…….christian or not…….that her having a baby now is a ship that left the port. Lead a Girl Scout Troop. Be a foster parent. Teach kids to read….but having your own isn’t happening.

    When I get my taxes done and the specialist is explaining everything to me, he asks “You following me?” and I nod my head “yes” but to me he’s speaking some language I do not know…..I blame that on my past drug use. Synapses are not firing right, and don’t connect properly. Gotta deal with it and accept that.

    If she went back to church and became “born again” and got forgiveness of her past, she still would be miserable for the fact she would still be judged by people in church who would revel about her past and want her stuck there.

    The best thing she can do right now is………..a break. Tell younger stud-man-boyfriend she needs a month to figure things out. In that month she: cleans her home / apartment and donates a bunch of stuff she doesn’t need to some charity. She gets things back in order. She balances her checkbook, and sets up a basic plan to get out of debt. She exercises…yoga, walking, riding her bike….she doesn’t need to become a gym rat. She gets some basic routine in her life. She cuts back on the drink and cigarettes (if she smokes). She then makes a list of things she can change. Things she cannot change, and things that she would like to change. Then some stuff that she would like to do. SHe stes a budget that gets her finances in order, it doesn’t need to be austere but she must make some sacrifices.

    After that she can START this list, bring it up with stud-muffin-boyfriend and see if he likes it. She reconnects with people she knew and likes. She starts being a genuine person and writes “thank you” cards. Remembers to flush. Strives to be just better than what she was. She understands that the world will NEVER forget her past, nor will she….but she can and will be able to find a path and a place and dare I say it….some happiness in this world and in her life.

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