She’s Panicking…

panicked

I read the fun clickbait, so you boys don’t have to.

Skank ho’ sez:

I didn’t worry too much about meeting the right guy immediately when I was younger. I thought it would happen in time and I had plenty of it. Now I’m in my 30s and single again and I realize that I should’ve found a good guy then and snapped him up! This is why I’m freaking out:

1. MY DATING POOL SHRANK BEFORE I EVEN NOTICED! I was in a serious relationship for a couple of years and then I was taking my time to recover from the breakup. When I was finally ready to date again, I looked around and realized that I had a serious problem. Everyone I meet is either married, in a committed relationship, or someone I don’t want to date. Yikes.

The reality is that “everyone” the skank refers to merely signifies the men who are in her pool of first picks. Those men were all grabbed up, by smarter women, but there are countless other men left. Bitch’s dating pool didn’t shrink, of course. It merely shifted.

In her 20’s, she was getting plowed by me and all the boys on Tinder, and hadn’t a care in the world. Suddenly she sees the wall’s approach, and wants to lock a chump down in holy wedlock. Men like us won’t touch her at this point in the narrative, but there are thousands of men who will. For example:

  • divorced men in their 40s and 50s will generally overlook a used party-skank’s past, in return for her adopting a modicum of decency, and signing a pre-nup.
  • nerdy, short and gameless dudes will generally overlook a used party-skank’s history, in return for her being brutally honest about her past, and begging his mercy.
  • one of the men she previously used in a one-nighter might still have fond memories of plowing her holes, and she may be able to sucker one of these men.

This is, realistically, the class of all sets of men who are available to this ho’. She should be honest with herself and make the best of her present situation.

2. ALL THE GOOD GUYS I KNOW ARE TAKEN NOW! I used to know tons of great dudes. Somewhere along the way, they all got snapped up and the ones who aren’t don’t seem to be all that great. I know there have got to be awesome single guys out there, but the number is definitely smaller than it was when I was younger.

That’s right, bitch. All those women who did the snapping-up are far smarter and more resourceful than you. Men like us are left, but we’re still having fun with the girls 5-10 years younger than you. There are plenty of resources still available to you (see above) but you’re too stupid to do the heavy lifting. Best case scenario: you become a nanny or housekeeper for one of the women who jumped on the marriage-wagon while you were content to cooze the gutters.

3. IT’S NOT LIKE BEFORE—MOST PEOPLE ARE CAUGHT UP IN SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS! Before, people broke up all the time. Nothing seemed all that permanent. Now all around me I see people who want to be settled down already. I’m the opposite—I’m just now finding my individuality and freedom and looking for another free spirit. Go figure.

Quality men don’t want to waste time with a “free spirit,” they want a wife.

6. DATING A GUY WHO IS DIVORCED AND/OR HAS KIDS IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT BALLGAME! There are definitely different issues that a divorced guy brings to the plate—an ex-wife, for instance, and perhaps alimony or other legal issues. If he has kids, I hate to say it, but that’s a dealbreaker for me. I don’t want kids and I don’t particularly want to take care of someone else’s. This narrows my dating pool even more.

You bring plenty of “issues” to the table, too. I’m guessing you probably have herpes, HPV, and probably a prescription for Valium and Prozac. Life is a series of compromises. Will the bitch do that? Wan’t to bet cokes?

11. SOMETIMES I’M TEMPTED TO JUST GIVE UP AND SETTLE. I’ve never been one to give up on my standards, but I’ll admit the thought crosses my mind. I’ve definitely settled in the past and it was terrible, but I feel like now all my viable options have passed me by while I wasn’t paying attention. I am afraid that the longer I hold out, the more I’ll have to settle later on.

Of course she won’t. She deserves the 7-foot tall quadrillionaire with the 18-inch penis, who looks just like Brad Pitt. Nothing else will do for skank-ho princess. How dare you judge? You don’t know bitch or her AMAZING life…

Don’t settle, slut. Don’t settle. He’s out there. You’ll find him!

Read more here

Author: Boxer

Sinister All-Male Dancer. Secret King of all Gamma Males. Member of Frankfurt School. Your Fave Contrarian!

13 thoughts on “She’s Panicking…”

  1. Yes her idea of ‘settling’ is giving up the thrills which put her in that spot in the first place.

    It’s a double edged sword…guys who entertain her with clownworld and thrills aren’t the commitment type…and guys who want a wife and mother don’t want women who still demand clownworld and thrills.

  2. Most likely she got ‘bored’ or the guy got bored. That’s why thrill based relationships fail. It’s like buying a new purse because it excites you and then tossing it aside in 2 years because the thrill is gone.

  3. So I decided to look at a few other articles she had…it’s almost like clockwork for #1.

  4. This is, realistically, the class of all sets of men who are available to this ho’. She should be honest with herself and make the best of her present situation.

    But that would be “settling,” which she’s made clear is unacceptable and off the table. This wimminz’s future, like that of countless others in her age cohort, is cats, head meds, boxed wine, and an overwhelming aura of bitterness and resentment that will repel every man who comes within a city block of her.

  5. What a sluty whore ..

    Her .. “You can’t judge me! You don’t know what I’ve been thru!”

    Me .. “Yes I can .. you’ve been thru miles and miles of cocka .. and I won’t pay full price for a used up out of warranty vehicle (either).”

  6. “I don’t want kids and I don’t particularly want to take care of someone else’s. ”

    I actually understand the former reason why she doesn’t want to date divorced dads. Same reason why men would not want to date single moms. However for one, a man who states this will be demonized. And seriously, assuming she actually finds someone who actually wanted to marry her, what’s the point of marrying if she doesn’t want kids? Unless she wants a “soulmate”, aja the guy who actually supports her and pays for her shenanigans while she bitches how he doesn’t help around the house.

  7. The thought of skanks like this begging for marital mercy from gameless dudes is fitting, proper and hilarious.

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