Down below, Brother Earl invited us to woo the old wimminz pictured above. We all know her. Her name is Charlize Theron, and she’s been in a large number of feature films.
Skank-ho Charlize, age 44, has taken to the media, challenging us all to “man up,” and ask her out. Let’s hear her tell it…
I’ve been single for 10 years, it’s not a long shot,” Theron said. “Somebody just needs to grow a pair and step up. I’m shockingly available.
We are grateful to Earl for cluing us in to her availability. I’m sure we’re all impressed by Theron’s generous offer to get between her (well-worn) meatflaps, and I thought I’d give her a bit of a bio here, so the boys know exactly what they’re getting into when then jump in her sack.
Charlize Theron grew up in South Effrica, the daughter of a man named Charles Jacobus Theron. I have to wonder what my man Charlie would think of the daughter who has spent her entire adult life badmouthing him in global media.
As we learn in various press releases, Charlie is long dead. What he’d think about his daughter, her career as a skank-ho Hollywood actress, and her habit of dragging his name through the mud, is an open question.
Our brother Charlie learned, too late, that he made a big mistake in choosing his wife…
Skank-ho Charlize doesn’t see this man’s murder as a problem. She’s cool with it. She just complains that the slaughter inconvenienced her… somehow.
And the killer? What’s she doing?
Murderess is cooling out in the U.S., on skank-ho daughter’s dime. She has no travel restrictions and the government isn’t going to inconvenience her with a murder trial or anything… It’s the cunt pass in action, all the way.
In heartwarming news, Skank-ho Charlize adopted a little boy in 2012. In the photo above, we see skank-ho mommy with the little tot. Who else is there? You guessed it. It’s good to know he gets to spend time with his his grandfather’s killer. Anyway, let’s check in with this fine family, and see how little Jackson is doing, a few years in.
That’s right, folks. Charlize Theron adopted a little boy, and has been ritually sexually abusing him ever since.
How is it that this prize catch of a wimminz is still single? I can’t imagine. Can you?
What is wrong with all you boys? Why are you not down on bended knee, begging this deranged wimminz to take your money, in return for the honor and privilege of pounding her dried out snatch?