I’m having a really good time digging around in old articles on the usenet archives. This story was posted by someone I’ll call John, way back in 1995. Let’s hear this brother tell his tale of marital bliss…
My wife is romantically involved with another man. I found out last week.
I had my suspicion before but now I know for sure. I heard them talking on the phone when she didn’t think I was home. Listening to them talk was like a knife twisting slowly in my back. I am really upset. I am going crazy. She doesn’t know I know. I have hardly slept or eaten for the last several days.
Since then I have put together all the evidence I ignored before. Some background information: We have been married 10 years. We have 2 kids, 9 and 2. We never got along very well, it has been downhill since the beginning. I’m a nice, easy going kind of guy. I give her everything she wants. I have always been faithful to her. She treats me like dirt.
John’s marriage sounds like the typical American coupling. He gives the bitch everything she wants, she sneers at him and fucks all and sundry behind his back. Really makes me regret my bachelor life, lemme tellya.
I finally talked her into marriage counseling, we went a few times. It seemed to help. We both know that we don’t really like each other that much. There is nothing that we like to do together, except for sex, and that has tapered off to almost nothing. We both agree that we would have split a long time ago, if it wasn’t for the kids. We don’t think it would be good for the kids. I don’t know what to do. I have thought about these options.
1) Don’t do anything, just let it go on. This is not good for my mental health. I have seen this before, and I always wondered why do they let them do that, why don’t they just leave? The advantage is that it makes her happy and she doesn’t treat me as bad. Sometimes she said I should get a girl friend and she would get a boy friend. I thought she was joking. I think that she wants to have her cake and eat it too. A husband to earn ca$h, babysit and fix the plumbing, and a lover for fun on the side. I think she still cares about me, even if she doesn’t like me. It makes me nervous when she asked me to take out a big life insurance policy, though. I care about her, but I don’t like spending time with her any more than she likes spending time with me.
We must note that John is not thinking clearly about his situation. He thinks this bitch cares about him, yet she’s encouraging him to take out a huge life insurance policy (I’m sure she and Chad would ideally be the beneficiaries of such largess.)
This is a decent illustration of the inherent handicap men face when dealing with wimminz. Men simply can not face reality. No wimminz sees a man as a human being. At best he is a useful piece of farm machinery, and usually a wimminz will look at all men as deadly and hated enemies. That includes your wife, your mother, and every other wimminz you will ever meet. Moreover, wimminz are naturally skilled at lying, grifting, and every other aspect of dishonesty, to a level which you will never, ever approach.
2) Get my own girl friend. Turn about is fair play? All I wanted was a wife who treated me like a human being. I never thought it right for a married man to be going out with other women. It doesn’t seem fair to the woman either. Between the kids and my job I don’t have a whole lot of time, usually 2 hours in the evening, some weekend days. (She has a more flexible schedule, they see each other at least twice a week, I think). And how would I go about finding a girlfriend? I have been out of action for 10 years. And what woman wants to go with a married man, anyway? I have seen the lonely hearts ads but there isn’t a category for MM seeks F. Is there a group for people like me?
John’s wife wants him to get his own slut, because that will increase his wife’s leverage over him, and it will further distract John from possibly fighting his wife for the things she’s trying to rob him of. John is already in dire straits with one wimminz, he is correct to decline the generous offer of inviting others to the party.
John is absolutely wrong about the inability to find a wimminz, though. If he were in his situation today, he’d just fire up Tinder and be fucking one of countless new whores within hours. There are no shortage of skanks on the dating sites who are married and cheating, just like his own slut wife.
3) Confront her. Tell her I know. She would probably deny it, or play it down. She might say so what, what are you going to do about it? What then?
Why bother confronting her? She doesn’t care if you know. She’ll probably just deny it anyway.
What might be more entertaining is sitting down for the confrontation, and telling her that you’ve got a mass e-mail ready to go out to all the neighbors, everyone you go to church/temple/synagogue with, and the managers of all the shops the bitch likes to frequent. John’s wife wouldn’t be seen as such a big shot once he mashes that button.
If any of you boys are ever in John’s shoes, try this out. See what she does…
4) Confront the guy. Tell him to get the hell out of my wife. But she works with him, she sees him everyday. They probably wouldn’t stop. I don’t know exactly how involved they are, lots of lovey-dovey stuff on the phone and “wasn’t last night great” and “you are the only woman for me” and stuff, but would he divorce his wife and marry her? I don’t know. I could tell the guy’s wife (if I could find out where they live). She might stop it. Even if I do stop this affair, she would probably start another one. I have been suspicious of her off and on for many years, but I always thought she was true. How blind I’ve been.
John thinks that the other guy is actually in love with this whore, but he is absolutely mistaken. The other guy sees her for what she is: a skank, with no loyalty and no self-discipline. That man is himself a seriously damaged individual, even to entertain this affair. He probably has homosexual tendencies, and gets excited thinking that he’s kissing her right after she sucked off her husband. The cheater surely eats John’s wife’s cunt, with visions of John’s cock and balls plowing into the very furrow he’s greedily sucking.
Anyway: What is actually going to happen is that these two lovebirds might fuck for a few more weeks, before that dude loses all interest in this skank, and kicks her hard to the curb. When John’s bitch wife gets rejected, that is the proper time for a confrontation.
In general terms, I think that if the other party is married, one is somewhat obligated to approach the other victim, and at least let him or her know what’s up. I think that if I were John, I would probably do this with an anonymous letter.
5) Confront them both, in the act. I would probably go ballistic but I might feel better afterwards. I’m not sure that it would do any good.
This seems like a potentially terrible idea. The two of them are in the room. You’ve caught them, and all bets are off. Do you know if one or both are armed? Hope you didn’t buy that “large life insurance policy.” It’s also very likely that they’d scheme up a story and have John arrested, by falsely accusing him of bursting in and assaulting them during an innocent business meeting.
A wise man will bide his time, and get revenge on his own terms.
6) Divorce her. I know I would be more happy living away from her. I have been happier when she was away on vacation. If it wasn’t for the kids it would be easy. Our 9 year old daughter likes living with me much more than with her ill tempered mom. She would prefer us not to divorce, but if we did she would want to live with me. Our 2 year old boy loves being with me. She has her relatives living with us, they take care of him in the day time. He would probably have to stay with her for now. We have talked about divorce before, she says, fine lets get divorced – but you can never see your kids and you have to give me lots of money. We live in California, I don’t know what the divorce laws are. It seems expensive (“it’s cheaper to keap ‘er”). And of course we save on rent and taxes and whatnot by living together.
I don’t know the law, but it seems like a general rule is that divorce gets gradually more expensive, the longer the marriage lasts. The bitch is going to divorce John anyway. He needs to see a qualified professional immediately. No matter how bad the payoff is now, it’ll be worse next year.
I’m not an attorney, but I have heard that some states are better than others. John might investigate whether it is feasible to set up a “household” in Arizona or Oregon, and then, a couple months hence, drop the papers from there. Beat the bitch to the punch and make her travel to court.
Either way, divorce needs to happen. There’s probably no way for John to “win” in such an exchange, but he might be able to minimize the brutality of his losses, and an attorney is the one to help him.
7) Just leave. Get my own apartment. Come by to visit the kids some times. Take them home sometimes. I would not miss my wife at all, but I’d miss the kids. She wouldn’t let me take them, I think. Showdown time. I don’t think it would bother our 2 year old a lot, but without me our 9 year old would be devastated. This would be a prelude to divorce. She might clear out the bank account, blow up the credit cards, etc. I should split the accounts, cards, etc. before leaving? We own property. Dividing things up could get messy and expensive if lawyers are involved. What should I do? Any advice, suggestions, information? I need to do something soon, I’m really freaking out. I cried on my way to work today, I know that a man isn’t supposed to cry, and I usually don’t but I’m way out there. I can’t sleep. I lay down, and my body is tired, but my mind is racing. I can’t make myself eat, I’ve lost 7 pounds in the last 4 days. My co-workers can tell something is wrong, but they don’t know what. I haven’t told anyone. My wife is so out of tune with me I don’t think she notices anything different. I try to hide it. I feel angry, hurt, sad. Sometimes I’m so mad I’m just shaking. For some reason I keep remembering the few good times we have had together, the precious little moments when we were both happy to be with each other and not the bad
These are the consequences of signing on to that marriage certificate. If ever you’re tempted to marry one of these skanks, remember John’s sad story, and just say no to the ho’.