Recently, I had the opportunity to go over to twitter and enjoy the insane ramblings of my old friend, Sheila Gregoire. If you haven’t met her, Sheila is an outspoken public figure and Christian priestess. Sheila’s latest tantrum is an annoying game of “let’s you and him fight,” which she started between her husband, Dr. Keith Gregoire, and a Christian priest named Steve Camp.
Sheila boasts of authoring a number of self-important books, including The Good Girl’s Guide To Great Sex, To Love Honor and Vacuum, and Thirty-One Days To Great Sex. The titles alone suggest someone with a deep resentment toward housework. This despite the fact that vacuuming is merely part of being a functional adult. The titles also suggest an inordinate interest in the carnal.
Not that there’s anything wrong with this. I like fucking too, and some of my best friends are pornographers.
Just for fun, I went over to Sheila’s porno blog. I wasn’t too surprised to find that much of the content, in these books that cost ~20 CAD, is available for free there. Moreover, a quick look at her work, thanks to Amazon’s preview and Sheila’s own output, suggests that she’s not really giving very good advice.
I was asked to leave Sheila’s blog many years ago, and I remain committed to respecting her wishes. Because I’m a good feminist, I decided to jump on the team, and review her most recent work, in an attempt to drive traffic to her site, and get her some new customers. Without further ado, let’s study the many truths inherent in her latest articles, the first dated 27 June, entitled When Porn is Stealing His Sex Drive.
Now, I’m as much a marriage expert as Sheila, and unlike her, I don’t pretend to lecture on stuff I know nothing about. That aside, I can think of one reason a man finds his wife untouchable. Many wimminz become nagging bitches after the marriage license is granted. No man wants to touch that shit.
Despite being a major purveyor of both internet and paperback pornography, Sheila loudly moans about porn, describing it as a destroyer of marriages. What she means, of course, is that she finds porn for male audiences to be problematic. Sheila has made a career out of selling porn to the wives of these same men, but that is “O.K.”
In a subsequent article, dated 28 June, entitled Is Erectile Dysfunction Killing Your Husband’s Libido, our heroine continues.
Sheila condemns husbands for not finding their nagging wives attractive enough to fuck. She thinks she’s solving this problem, not by making wimminz more attractive, but by making them less so. She’s setting an example of a skank who complains about cleaning up after her own messes, and one who plays “let’s you and him fight” on social media. Being married to such a creature doesn’t sound particularly enticing.
What have we learned, brothers? I guess we could speculate, based upon her endless complaining, that Sheila’s husband may (or may not) need porn and Viagra to get it up for her. Sheila contends that this is a widespread problem with men, when it’s actually a problem with women. The dick is simply not required to stiffen for a stingy, childish, troublemaking wimminz, and there is no fooling the dick. The dick always knows a good woman.
It is unreasonable to expect any healthy man to get hard for a brick wall, or a farm animal, or a little kid, or a huge fat guy’s smelly anus. It is just as unreasonable for a normal man to get hard for a creature like this. Moreover, it’s not just that she is objectively less attractive than donkey, above. Sheila could make herself more enticing to her husband by shutting down her filthy blog, apologizing to her family, and cleaning up after herself without endlessly whining about it.
Gentlemen, if you find yourself unable to perform, look at the woman involved. Your dick is trying to tell you something, and you ought to listen carefully.