Happy New Year!
It’s a drinking holiday in Canada, the land where hoez are least tactful and most disgraceful. Canadian women are worse than American bitches. That’s a fact. I often tell this truth to you Americano brothers, and you never seem to believe me, despite evidence that is merely a click away. Since you guys needed a reminder, I have two or three.
Are you sure you wouldn’t like to move to Canuckistan, and help Mallory raise her bastard kid? She’s a binge drinker. That’s, like, super attractive.
She’s 35, and “doesn’t have kids but wants them…” I think that ship has probably already sailed away, dear… just like the chump you’re in search of.
“Wait, Boxer,” I hear you protest. “I could go to Canada and find a chaste, nice, first-gen immigrant.”
That’s true. Maybe a sweet Canadian-Muslim chickie, who loves God, and has inherited good religious values from her traditional parents.
Here’s Ayesha. She says she has a husband, but she’s on tinder because she’s “bored as fuk” (maybe that’s hoespeak for ‘looking for dicks to sit on’).
I bet you’re jealous of the man who has to pay the bills of this prize catch of a traditional wife, who is now cheating on tinder. Me too!
And lest the Americano brothers feel left out…
Meet Abbigail. The desperation is palpable.
Jazmin doesn’t say very much. For example, she doesn’t tell us whether her husband is going to be deployed when we meet for our one-night stand, or whether he’ll be on the stool in the corner, or whether he’s going to be joining the two of you for some bisexual kink. Personally, I’m inclined to assume that the photo is her way of advertising “no strings attached,” and “please don’t tell hubby.” Whatever her motivations, it’s pretty disturbing.