Down below, Renee asks a poignant question.
Sir I understand the blog for men. But how can a woman avoid being a skank ho especially if she is about to hit the wall or is post wall and tired of being a virgin?
As Aristotle would remind us, whenever an individual starts becoming a source of money or solutions to another’s problems, a certain dialectic is reached, in which each party becomes important to the other. Generally (again, I’m plagiarizing Aristotle’s ethics): The mentor in the relationship cares more about his charge than vice-versa. The man who pays, in money or time or information, tends to also be the one who feels more invested in the dialectic. Even so, as a source of solutions, the mentor also becomes important to the pupil, who tends to increasingly rely upon his benefactor as time goes on. This mode-of-being isn’t really noticed until some novel situation erupts, usually in the form of a dispute between mentor and pupil. Suddenly, the mentor’s decisions matter, as there’s an underlying assumption that the money/time/information might suddenly quit flowing.
Aristotle: Pupil of Plato in Childhood, Mentor to Alexander the Great as An Adult
Since the 1960s, at least in North America, most women have voluntarily dropped out of this dialectic. The average American female has no interest in meeting the needs of anyone but herself. Her energy has largely been redirected into behaviors which are generally useless, and serve only to enrich the ruling class at the expense of her family and community. A great example was brought up by Anonymous and Honeycomb in previous comments, where they discuss the phenomenon of women eschewing marriage in order to pursue sex with strangers, careers in paper-shuffling, and credentialism (i.e. getting degrees in subjects that are generally useless, or in subjects in which they will never pursue full-time work). While I disagreed that this was some sort of top-down plan by the elite to wreck society, there’s no denying that it is a general trend that has become increasingly widespread.
Many women ignore those behaviors that come with being either a mentor or a pupil, at least in the traditional sense, and seem to have no interest in behaving either as a wife or a mother. Moreover, these same women seem to have no interest in any sort of family-centered behavior (they aren’t competent daughters, neighbors or sisters, for example, either). While nearly all women will dabble in marriage or childbirth (Dalrock has stats suggesting that nearly 90 percent of women will, at some point, marry; and, the remainder of those will largely become skank-ho single moms), they instead act as though these are meaningless status indicators, and instead focus on careers and credentialism, while ignoring their husbands’ needs and putting their children in a day-care, to be raised (usually neglected) by strangers.
The average woman who goes down this path eventually finds herself surprised at how unhappy she is. The feminists promised her that she would “have it all” if she could only balance a career and a family. The feminists were and are liars, consumed with what Freud called “penis envy” (Read Freud’s work on this subject here).
Not only do such women not find their office jobs satisfying, but they also find themselves totally disempowered at home, as strangers raise their kids, and their husbands eventually seek out emotional (and sometimes sexual) intimacy elsewhere. Either their husbands will sublimate these needs into dumb hobbies (watching sports, drinking with friends, watching sleazy internet porn) or they will embark on a series of affairs. In short, the feminist “career woman” who is promised, by feminists, that she can “have it all” finds herself having nothing at all. Her only option at the end of the road is to get a divorce, but that will leave her even worse off than she already is, as a skank-ho single mom, who gets a monthly check. As such, she assumes an even lower status than she enjoyed previously.
Anyone can avoid this fate by following Uncle Ari’s advice: deliberating at length, and then acting decisively. Agnes Callard has a very good paper which begins with a description of the master’s teachings:
Aristotle’s theory of deliberation (bouleusis) is immediately familiar as a theory of what we, too, would call deliberation: a conscious, rational mental processes deployed by an agent in order to solve practical problems. He thinks, as we do, that deliberation is a form of thought that takes time, proceeds systematically rather than haphazardly, and ends by putting the agent in a position to choose rationally. Deliberation, for Aristotle as for us, is thought that answers the question, “what should I do?”
Read the whole paper (here).
Any man or woman can avoid the unhappiness of following the feminist model by appreciating his (or her) own limitations. One can not “have it all”. A family is, by nature, a unit which is greater than the sum of its parts. With this in mind, one can start to journal his or her daily thoughts. Once clarified, write down your own goals. Keep track of the daily actions that make such goals manifest. If you observe some religious discipline, prayer or meditation can help. If you don’t, then taking fifteen minutes “off the grid” (phones off, no television, etc.) in quiet contemplation is a must. Dale Carnegie used to recommend this. Shift your focus from the momentary and fleeting nonsense of the now and begin envisioning yourself in the role you want, working backwards to your present situation, analyzing what you have to do to approach the end result you seek.
If you’re a woman who does not want marriage and family, I think that’s fine, but you should consciously make peace with the fact that you’re going to forge another path, and hold yourself to the same standards as a traditional man would, regarding honor, discipline, and mastery of your chosen craft. I happen to know women who made this choice early, and I respect them. If you do want to have a husband and family, then focus the vast majority of your attention on that. Proficiency in that area includes a husband who feels totally loved, completely respected, and safe to leave his home every day, knowing that his wife is competently tending to his financial, sexual, and emotional needs while he’s away (that means no cheating and no “girls night out”). It also means properly educating and socializing your children. Sending kids to the local public school is fine, but if a mother isn’t waiting at home, then most of their teacher’s efforts will be for nothing.
The career woman has responsibility for her work and authority over her subordinates. The married woman has responsibility for her husband and authority over her children. One can not serve two masters (now I’m plagiarizing St. Paul.) In short, responsibility and authority go hand-in-hand.