[Note: This is an article by Brother Deti, who describes himself as a member of the legal profession. I believe he has been admitted to the bar in some American State, and he knows what he’s talking about. It’s reproduced from some of his comments, minimally edited by me.]
If you are the “other man” and you bang married women, you can be assured of a few things.
1) You are being used to validate her. Sure, she’s a hole for you to masturbate into. But make no mistake about it – she’s using you too, for any number of reasons – to make her feel “young again”, to prove to herself she’s “still got it” and can attract a man she wants to have sex with, for some form of human connection, to get back at her husband for real or imagined slights, whatever.
2) It will end at some point. She might be looking to branchswing, sure. But would you be her new branch? Of course you wouldn’t. Because if she’ll cheat with you, she’ll cheat on you. Or, she’ll start feeling guilty. Or she’ll know she can’t have a real relationship with you because husband/kids/job/life. And that’s not even counting the real possibility that she will get caught.
3) You’re both living out a fantasy. You, with no strings attached sex where you don’t have to pay for anything or live with her or support her or care about her or listen to her 24/7. You never have to watch her belch and fart and take dumps and pick her nose. She, with a man who is LARPing “caring” about her, and giving her a little bit of sex that she can’t get/won’t accept at home from a man she’s not attracted to, and getting a brief respite from her unhappiness and lack of satisfaction. It’s not sustainable, and it will end at some point.
4) One or both of you will catch feelz. And then it will REALLY hurt when it ends (not if, WHEN).
I do take issue at least a little bit with the availability of court testimony. You can’t always look up trial testimony in a routine humdrum divorce on the internet, in fact most of the time you can’t do it. You would have to know one of the lawyers involved and get a copy of the trial transcript, or get it from the court by physically walking to the courthouse and getting the hard file out. Or if online, you have to subscribe to a service. And even then the testimony isn’t always transcribed, even if it is audio recorded or a court reporter takes it down.
That said, anyone who really wants to find your sworn testimony will be able to find it.
And… yes, you had better tell the truth. Because if you are the “other man” in a divorce, and you get a subpoena, there’s no point in lying. The lawyers already know the wife cheated on her soon to be ex husband with you. And they know that because she told her husband who told her lawyer. Or her husband found the text messages and dick pics. Or someone saw the two of you together and told her husband.
If things go south, if you piss her off, if you end things with her and she becomes a woman scorned, or if she gets caught….
She could falsely accuse you of rape, so as to deflect attention from her conduct and project blame for the affair onto you. And it won’t matter that it was all enthusiastically consensual or that all the meetings were at hotels or at your place, where she had to come to you. All she has to do is say that you went just a bit too far, that you did something she didn’t consent to and forced the issue, that you had anal sex once when she didn’t really want to. And then you are not only the “other man” in a divorce case; you’re also the target of a felony investigation.
It doesn’t matter that the allegations are not all that credible. They will still be investigated. You will still get jammed up. You will have to lawyer up. You will have to give DNA samples. You might be advised to give an official statement to the police in which you have no choice but to describe, in graphic detail, in writing or on video, the sexual encounters you had with her. And you have no choice because you have to portray the sex as completely consensual. If you have photos or saved text messages (and you should, for this very reason), you will need to give them to the cops – again, because you have to portray this as a consensual relationship in which nothing nonconsensual ever took place.
You will have to take time off work. You will have to pay the lawyers. You will have to explain your absences to your employer and friends. You will undergo the stress of the uncertainty, your life on tenterhooks, your life on hold, until you’re cleared. Or if you’re not cleared, then you’ll be indicted, arrested, booked, arraigned, and bound over for trial. In which case you’ll have to decide whether to plead it down if you can, or stand trial and take your chances.
Not fun. Not fun at all.