Brother Boxer occasionally gets into a worthwhile exchange elsewhere that deserves its own thread in my ‘hood. Such a thing happened recently here.
Here’s the deal: having more teeth, better hygiene and no criminal record means that you meet certain standards that those smelly thugs in bars don’t; these standards are probably really important when it comes to certain things like getting a job, but not when it comes to women. That stuff is completely irrelevant when it comes to attracting women.
If I disagree with this brother, it’s only in his conservative estimate. Not only is he pushing in the right direction (with respect to who women are attracted to) but he doesn’t go far enough. Not only is hygiene, dentistry and a productive life irrelevant to women… I believe it often makes a man less attractive. My evidence for this is admittedly anecdotal, but here it is anyway…
I have a long-time friend I’ll call Bob. Bob was a black dude in a nearly all-white town, who accepted a position with my employer. As Bob was unmarried and at about my own level in our shared profession, we rapidly started socializing after hours.
At one point, I suggested that Bob should go out with me to run ho’s. He was down, so we went to a local place where I assumed he’d be well received the following weekend. The town’s few black single women were always in attendance, as were white women who I knew to be down with dating black dudes.
The most interesting thing happened when he approached these sluts. They liked him, until he started speaking to them. Once they realized that Bob was not a thug, they had no more use for him. He became invisible within an hour.
Brother Boxer is, beneath the facade, a white trash piece of shit, who can play the part of the thug, but Bob had too much dignity.
Seeing this farce play out was a great epiphany. I realized at that moment that women do not really want a strong or successful man. The thugs they regularly go home with, who wear pants four sizes too big, who need dental work, and who are perpetually unemployed: these men aren’t attractive for their strengths (as most of the people in the manosphere will assert) but for their weakness.
Women don’t want a man who is in good physical shape, has a good education and a good income. They don’t want an articulate man who is in control of his emotions and who knows how to mix with the higher stratum. They don’t want an alpha male.
Women want a weak man, who they can control and manipulate.
Here’s the only way to know who has that “key” and who doesn’t: history and trajectory. If you have some guy who has a long history of no luck with women, and you don’t see anything changing, even slowly, then he doesn’t have that key, period. When you hit certain age milestones, like 25, 30, 40, etc. and you haven’t hit certain sexual milestones, the writing on the wall cannot be clearer. Some may think that you can play catch-up, but you can’t really. No 5-step plan is going to undo what you have become.
I know as I get older, I have progressively less tolerance for women’s shit. When I was a teenager, I would take any amount of nonsense off a ho’ just to get them drawers. Part of it is surely hormonal (once you hit 30, you aren’t quite as hot) but a part of it is surely being jaded. I’ve seen all sorts of women, and no matter how promising they’ve appeared at first, they eventually bore/anger/tire me to the point where I can’t stand the sight of them.
Furthermore, if a guy like that ends up “meeting someone” later in life, the odds of it turning out not to be what it seemed, blowing up in his face and cleaning him out like a fish are extremely high. “Too good to be true” is the rule in these things. Luck doesn’t turn around like that, because (bad) luck can’t explain decades of incel. By the time you get over 30, if you already had “that key”, you would have had a woman fall out of a tree and land on your dick at least once every two years on average (that’s an exaggeration but you see my point).
Maybe it’s just that you have standards?
Another fallacy that many in the manosphere promote is the idea that “women can get sex on demand.” Of course, that’s true, but then, so can men. The problem is that the sex a 30+ year old woman can get at a moment’s notice is closer to blowing a wino down at the bus station, than to a night with a hunky millionaire.
Just the same, I can get sex within 24-hours, but it will be with a skank (probably only moderately attractive) who probably has herpes. I could probably get sex within 4-hour window with a fattie.
I’m inclined to think that the main difference between my peer group and the incel crowd is that the inches refuse to stoop to slumming around with the types of women that the rest of us make do with.
The thing that everyone fails to understand is how easy it is for normal people to get sex and relationships compared to guys who, for no obvious reason, have absolutely no magnetism, attraction or hope — the “key” as we’ve been calling it. Once you realize how big the discrepancy is, you’ll know that it’s a problem you can’t fix — even if you knew what the problem was, that knowledge wouldn’t do you any good.
You want sex?
That’s the end of the story.
Bro, they are all prostitutes. I’ve never had a straight pay-for-play experience, and yet, they’ve all cost me far more (in time and energy, if not money) than they were worth.
What’s more, it can be almost impossible to be rid of them.